четверг, 15 марта 2012 г.

Scientists: 115-year-old's brain worked perfectly

A Dutch woman who was the oldest person in the world when she died at age 115 in 2005 appeared sharp right up to the end, joking that pickled herring was the secret to her longevity.

Scientists say that Henrikje van Andel-Schipper's mind was probably as good as it seemed: a post-mortem analysis of her brain revealed few signs of Alzheimer's or other diseases commonly associated with a decline in mental ability in old age.

That came as something of a surprise, said Gert Holstege, a professor at Groningen University, whose findings will be published in the August edition of Neurobiology of Aging.

"Everybody was thinking that when you have a brain …

Saw 70-foot wave, thought about Titanic Passengers wonder why cruise ship didn't dodge storm

NEW YORK -- When a "Boom!" on a cruise ship awoke him, the firstthing that crossed passenger Robert Clark's mind was "the Titanic."

In a panic, he and his wife and 7-year-old daughter ran to areception area and found passengers from flooded cabins, bunchedtogether and wearing life preservers -- some of them cryinghysterically. They soon discovered that the thunderous disruption wasa freak 70-foot wave that smashed windows, sent furniture flying andripped out whirlpools on the Norwegian Dawn.

"We were going back and forth, up and down. And then, 'Boom!' "Clark said.

Clark and his family discussed their ordeal Monday after theNorwegian Dawn, carrying about 2,000 …

DINING; READERS' CHOICE

BEST RESTAURANT

MILKYWAY

Free of the cramped darkness of the Bannock basement, MilkyWay has made a huge mark in Boise's downtown dining scene. With two levels, the most unique chairs and tables, one of the best bartenders in Boise, one of the best chefs in Boise, a huge wine list, big patio doors that open onto a patio worthy of any European square and the Frim Fram Fellas playing a couple nights a week, what could be better? The Boise Weekly staff eats there regularly. If for no other reason than the jalapeno shrimp bites.

2. Smoky Mountain Pizza & Pasta

3. Berryhill & Co.

BEST NEW RESTAURANT

MAI THAI

In the former digs of many of …

Notre Dame ends 15-year bowl drought

Notre Dame ended a 15-year drought without a college football bowl title on Wednesday, beating Hawaii 49-21 in the Hawaii Bowl.

Quarterback Jimmy Clausen set Notre Dame bowl records with 406 yards passing and five touchdowns to lead an efficient performance by the Fighting Irish.

"I told the team that's the only thing I wanted (for Christmas). I just wanted to win a bowl game," Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis said.

"I heard it a hundred times in the locker room after the game and they wanted to know what I was giving them for Christmas. I told them: 'a flight home.'"

Golden Tate had six receptions for 177 yards and …

среда, 14 марта 2012 г.

Get rid of hard water marks in shower

Hard water leaves its mark on shower walls and glass showerenclosures in the form of crusty little white lime deposits thatsometimes seem impossible to remove.

Here are a couple of secret formulas that should help:

**Sodium carbonate is the chemical you'll want to use. It's thebase for many cleaners and is the primary ingredient in washing soda.If a …

'No End in Sight,' A Direct Hit on Iraq War Makers

The script of Charles Ferguson's "No End in Sight" wouldcertainly be in the hands of prosecutors in the event of impeachmenthearings. The documentary is a furious, if quietly stated,indictment of the president and all his men in re the debacle thatour adventure in Iraq has turned into. Ferguson builds a compellingcase of bad judgment, error, stubbornness, arrogance, all of itadding up to a mess with no end in sight.

It's also, most impressively, an evocation of that horror.Astutely edited by Chad Beck and Cindy Lee, it assembles adepressing cascade of imagery from the war: the tanks pullingthrough the dusty, ancient towns; the young Americans scootingthrough the ruins in …

Guard Wounded in Blast at Israeli Game

A security guard who shielded others when he picked up a firecracker that was thrown during a basketball game will still have the use of three fingers on his mangled hand, a hospital official said Tuesday.

Yoav Glitzstein has been called a hero for grabbing the homemade explosive before it could go off and possibly wound some of the players, coaches and fans at the Jerusalem basketball stadium.

The explosive was thrown less than two minutes before the end of Sunday's game between Hapoel Holon and Hapoel Jerusalem in Israel's top professional league.

The live TV broadcast captured a loud boom, followed by a small cloud of white smoke and the sight of …

Generation gap in US troops on gays in military

NASHVILLE, Tennessee (AP) — If you want to know what a member of the U.S. armed forces thinks about repealing "don't ask, don't tell," you could start by asking how old they are.

Generational differences appear to play a prominent role in whether American soldiers, airmen, Marines and sailors are worried about repealing the policy that has barred gays from serving openly since 1993 but faces a possible court-ordered end. Generation may also influence how a change is implemented, if the courts or Congress ultimately lift the ban.

"Younger soldiers wouldn't have a problem with it, but older soldiers are the ones that enforce Army regulations," noted Jason Ashley, 43, a former …

COLOMBINA DESCUBIERTA DE ALICIA FREILICH SEGAL: LA NUEVA NOVELA HISTÓRICA COMO CUESTIONAMIENTO DEL VIAJE DEL DESCUBRIMIENTO

El tema del viaje est� �ntimamente ligado a la experiencia jud�a desde las primeras historias b�blicas (de la odisea de Abraham de Ur a Canaan, el viaje a Egipto de Jos�, la traves�a de Mois�s en el desierto durante cuarenta a�os despu�s del �xodo de Egipto) hasta las versiones contempor�neas de b�squeda y/o regreso a las tierras de Si�n, pasando por numerosos exilios y migraciones. M�s a�n, el motivo del viaje desde el punto de vista simb�lico, como proceso de b�squeda interior, de iniciaci�n, de transformaci�n espiritual o de cumplimiento de una meta, forma parte tambi�n de la tradici�n jud�a.

La novela Colombina descubierta (1991) de la venezolana Alicia Freilich Segal nos …

Student Urinates in Lunch Box in Class

A teacher was put on paid leave Tuesday while officials investigate why a student urinated in a lunch box during her class.

The Meadowbrook Middle School student urinated in a lunch box while hiding behind a classroom bookcase, Orange County school officials said Tuesday.

According to statements by other students in the class, school officials think that when the boy asked to go the restroom on Thursday, teacher Jameeka Chambers told him to hold it or use her lunch box.

The boy took the lunch box, hid behind a bookcase, urinated in it and returned it to her, Frank Kruppenbacher, attorney for the Orange County School Board, told the Orlando …

Bok star looks claass act

Michael Claassens is itching to get into the thick of the GuinnessPremiership action after digesting his first taste of northernhemisphere club action at Llanelli.

Handed his debut in Bath Rugby's club colours at the MiddlesexSevens last month, the 24-year-old South Africa scrum-half played 55minutes of Bath's opening warm-up match at Stradey Park.

And his display impressed the 300-odd Bath supporters who saw Bathcome back from 17-7 down to win 21-17, setting themselves up for thefriendlies against Edinburgh and Leinster.

Even then, though, Claassens was looking beyond them at Bath'sopening Premiership game against Worcester Warriors at The Rec.

"I knew …

Milestones

Births/Adoptions

Birch- Eric Emmanuel (b. Sept. 13, 2011), to Oren and Christine Birch, Poole Mennonite, Milverton, Ont.

Doell- Sean Daniel (b. Oct. 27, 201 1 ), to Brenda and Ted Doell, Carman Mennonite, Man.

Friesen- Felix James Klassen (b.July 21, 2011, to Jessica Klassen and Jeff Friesen, Charleswood Mennonite, Winnipeg, Man.

Hatlem- Samuel Douglass (b. Nov. 8, 2011), to Jodie Boyer Hatlem and Dougjohnson Hatlem, Toronto United Mennonite, Ont.

Nordstrom- Knightley Moa Joy (b. Oct. 24, 201 1), to Carly Enns and Martin Nordstrom, Carman Mennonite, Man.

Parkes- Alexander Ethan (b. Sept. 25, 201 1 ), to Nick and Christine Parkes, Eigenheim …

Brazil stocks make 5th straight day of gains

Brazilian stocks made their fifth straight day of gains on Friday after a weak start that echoed declines in Europe.

Brazil's Bovespa index was up 0.8 percent at 36,488 in early-morning trading. The market had opened down 0.2 percent to 36,159.

The nation's currency, the real, lost ground against the dollar.

Mexican stocks also enjoyed a lift, with the IPC index opening up 0.9 percent to 20,202. Chile opened lower and then recovered, rising by a modest 0.1 percent to 2,435. Argentina proved to be the exception, with its Merval index opening down 0.7 percent at 965.

Brazilian shares enjoyed one of their best weeks in months as investors cheered the U.S. government's rescue of Citigroup Inc. and additional economic stimulus plans around the world.

In Europe on Friday, markets fell modestly on profit-taking and ahead of an expected lower opening on Wall Street following the Thanksgiving holiday.

Wall Street was selling off modestly Friday as investors braced for what's expected to be a weak holiday shopping season. The session was expected to be quiet with the stock market closing three hours early and many traders gone for the long holiday weekend. Thin trading volume could exacerbate some of the market's moves, however.

In the first few minutes of trading, the Dow Jones industrial average was down about 45 points at 8,680.

вторник, 13 марта 2012 г.

Artist uses marketing to gain prominence, sales

At first glance, artist Joe Dudding seems more like a business executive than a classical realist. Maybe it's the short gray hair, the conservative spectacles and the clean-shaven face of this 65-year-old Shepherdstown painter.

"People are surprised when they discover I'm an artist," Dudding said.

One thing that gives Dudding away is his unusual studio. Five years ago, he converted an old Quaker meeting house into a studio that starving artists could only imagine in their wildest dreams. Between an oak floor and a tongue-and-groove wood ceiling is a collection of eclectic frames, furniture, antiques, a sailboat and, of course, the artist's work hanging on the walls.

Many of the unusual props and decanters scattered throughout the room end up in Dudding's work, bridging the artist and his environment. "I feel like painting every time I come in here," he said.

And paint he does, sometimes spending as much as 12 hours a day in the non air-conditioned studio.

Dudding considers himself a classical realist much like Adolf Bouguereau, a 19th-century painter who has influenced Dudding's figures immensely. According to Dudding, classical realism is characterized by a dark background and an arrangement of rich colors and subjects.

He focuses on portraits, still lifes and landscapes in a style that uses the under-painting of several layers to add depth, substance and age to his work.

Forty years' experience

As a full-time professional artist, Dudding has 40 years of painting experience under his belt, including professional training at the Baum School of Art in Allentown and a portrait apprenticeship with Washington, D.C., artist Ken Marlow.

He takes his time with each painting and usually completes one piece a month. He believes he has achieved his status with a combination of artistic adroitness and savvy marketing skills.

"Being able to market yourself and your work is the element that determines whether an artist will be successful or not," said Dudding.

According to Dudding, most artists don't know anything about marketing, and if they do, it's viewed as a distraction to the creative process. "You need to spend at least two days a week marketing yourself, and that takes you away from the art."

In his opinion, the best way for artists to market themselves is to pound the pavement. This involves carting paintings to galleries and shows and the possibility of facing immediate rejection.

Not only is this approach hard on the artist's soul and confidence, it also causes wear and tear on the art. Canvases and frames are very fragile materials and are hard to maintain when they are lugged around.

It's who you know

Many galleries require the artist be recommended or juried in from an arts association; especially well-known galleries which will only represent the work if it promises a good monetary return. So, as in any other business, it's who you know.

"You have to do a lot of schmoozing," Dudding said.

Dudding goes to every show he can to network with other artists and gallery owners. His open personality has served him well, making him accessible not only as an artist but as a human being.

At the annual Victorian Arts Festival in Carlisle, he met artist Nancy Stamm, who organizes this event. "He drove up with a station wagon filled with his art, and I loved his stuff right away. A few months later I saw Joe's work at an exhibit and knew right away it was his. He has a very distinct style," said Nancy Stamm.

It was through Stamm that Charlie Andrews, owner of the Garden Gallery in Carlisle, learned about Dudding. Currently Dudding has four paintings in the Garden Gallery ranging in price from $450 to $1,450. At the top of the price range is a piece entitled, "Popover and Friend," which Andrews describes as a genre piece of an old man painting while a dog watches.

"Joe is an artist's artist and very painterly with an impressive range," said Andrews.

Typically the price of art is set by the artist, and gallery owners will tack on their commission before it goes on the market. Andrews said he can make up to a 50 percent commission on any sale in his gallery. The commission usually varies from artist to artist, but is rarely less than 30 percent.

Besides the monetary gain, it's also in the artist's best interest to get his name out into the community via the gallery circuit.

"The only thing better than getting into a gallery is being owned and on someone's wall. If you spend $1,000 on a painting, chances are you're going to show it to your friends, and that's the best kind of networking for an artist," said Andrews.

On display in Washington

During his time in Washington, Dudding connected with the Mickelson Gallery, Seventh and G streets, where his work is currently on display until Sept. 23 as part of a four-person show. This is the third time he has participated in a show of this magnitude.

"It won't be long before Dudding gets his own solo show. He's a very prolific and desirable painter," says gallery owner Sydney Mickelson.

Dudding made it into the Mickelson Gallery by actively soliciting the gallery group, which must approve all artists before their work can be displayed. Mickelson praised Dudding for keeping the cost of his art down and not killing the market.

"When artists get very popular they tend to raise their prices. Joe is very reasonable. Sometimes people buy two of his paintings," said Mickelson.

At this show, six of Dudding's paintings range in price from $300 to $1,000. One painting receiving a lot of attention this year is a piece entitled, "Prince Albert's Antique Pipes," priced at $650.

Earning the respect of peers and others in the art community didn't happen overnight for Dudding. The Allentown native recalls how he made the decision to leave his job as an engineer 15 years ago to begin painting on a full-time basis. "If it weren't for my wife's salary, I would have never been able to do this," said Dudding. She works as a child-care provider.

Both Dudding and Andrews agree painting pictures for a living, regardless of style, is a tough business. Dudding said he makes about $25,000 annually from his art.

"You really have to be determined to make it, because only 1 percent of all artists reach the point where it becomes a very lucrative business. I'm not among the 1 percent -- yet," quipped Dudding.

Nicolas Sarkozy's office says French president has health scare while ...

Nicolas Sarkozy's office says French president has health scare while exercising.

Matt Dillon pleads guilty speeding, pays $828 fine

Matt Dillon had his case dismissed after pleading guilty to speeding and paying an $828 fine.

The 44-year-old actor was stopped Dec. 30 on the Interstate 91 highway while driving 106 mph (170 kph) in rural Northern Vermont. Because of the excessive speed, he was also charged with negligent operation of a motor vehicle.

Prosecutor Will Porter said Monday that Dillon agreed to plead guilty to speeding in exchange for having the negligent operation charge dismissed Wednesday, which he said is common in such cases.

Dillon's lawyer, Mark Kaplan, says the plea was a fair resolution for Dillon.

Robinson sweeps to rookie award

SAN ANTONIO, Texas For David Robinson, the wait was worth it.

Robinson, who waited two years to play for the San Antonio Spurswhile finishing a Navy commitment, was unanimously named NBA Rookieof the Year Friday.

Robinson, who led the Spurs to the greatest single-seasonimprovement in league history, said the two-year layoff fromorganized basketball helped more than it hurt.

"I learned to be patient, not to fight things," he said.

Robinson, a 7-1 center who averaged 24.3 points, 12 rebounds and3.9 blocks, was the first unanimous selection since Ralph Sampson in1984.

Lilly McElroy

CHICAGO

Lilly McElroy

THOMAS ROBERTELLO GALLERY

"2009 Was A Rough Year"- that's both the title of Lilly McElroy's recent exhibition at Thomas Robertello Gallery and a statement of fact. It was indeed a rough year. The stock market crashed. The housing bubble burst. Countless retirement incomes, jobs, and homes were lost in the fallout. In response, McElroy created a participatory memorial, asking friends and strangers to contribute their worst memories from those wretched twelve months. Photos and captions were to be submitted via a dedicated website (www.aroughyear.com) established by the artist in advance of the show. With this material, McElroy then projected the images and texts in the gallery, alongside a large blue stained glass window, which enshrined the project's title and colored the space with a melancholic, ecclesiastical light.

Perhaps surprisingly, only a handful of the more than one hundred responses McElroy received have anything to do with derivatives or subprime lending. On the contrary, most don't seem specific to 2009 at all. The problems they bemoan - a stillborn son, a broken engagement, a Labrador with bone cancer, a cheating spouse, debilitating feelings of abandonment - happen every year. Every year is a rough year for someone. For a lot of someones.

What McElroy taps into is the need that all of us have to share grief, to broadcast complaints, to narrate painful self-reflection. Here, working with a self-selected group, she provides an opportunity for others to analyze the spectrum of ways in which trauma is represented, and further, what might qualify as trauma in the first place: On the one hand, an image of a house reduced to cinders offers straight evidence; on the other, skewed photos of emptied pill bottles only suggest what the text confirms - accidental overdose.

There's symbolic representation of the romantic sort: the window out of which a worthless, depressed year was spent staring. And of the hipster variety: a torn pair of lacy hot-pink panties on a wood floor, the contributor claiming to be too broke to buy new ones. Plenty of the images are arty - a few perhaps even intended as art, including a charming, brushy painting titled Foreclosure of Mom's House, 2009, and a Web 1.0 digital drawing of a man smoking a spliff, puffing out a peace sign. "Art" also appears to be the only plausible explanation for a sprinkling of more baffling submissions, including photographs of an unremarkable airport terminal and of a West Virginia dairy bar.

The traumas themselves are just as varied, from the unimaginably atrocious to the heartbreakingly common to the (by comparison) offensively unimportant. However ungenerous, cross-evaluation is inevitable. Which is worse: the removal of massive uterine tumors and an emergency hysterectomy? A father's heart attack and sudden death? Spilled milk on a laptop? McElroy could have edited out the confusing, ironic visuals and lame, self-indulgent stories with the goal of creating a seamlessly moving memorial. However, not only does such variation provide necessary pause in an otherwise overwhelmingly glum series of tragedies, it creates depth, setting the truly grave in relief against the merely bothersome.

But the best medicine for major tragedy isn't minor misfortune; it is, as the clich� goes, humor. So McElroy also solicited jokes, performing them at stand-up comedy clubs across New York. In the gallery, footage of these gigs looped on a single flat-screen, and the jokes weren't very funny. Yet we see McElroy continuing in earnest, night after night, to deliver them, with determination, confidence, and bravery. And mettle, more than laughs, is what's truly needed to face the inevitable tragedies of life.

- Lori Waxman

Female bomber at Shiite shrine in Baghdad kills 38

A woman hiding among Iranian pilgrims with a bomb strapped under her black robe killed more than three dozen people on Sunday outside a Baghdad mosque during ceremonies commemorating the death of one of Shiite Islam's most revered saints.

The suicide attack, the most recent in a series that has killed more than 60 people in less that a week, was the latest to mar the transfer of many security responsibilities from the U.S. military to Iraqi forces.

Iraqi security forces have deployed thousands of troops in Baghdad and in the Shiite holy city of Karbala, just south of the capital, to safeguard against attacks during the ceremonies. Attacks by al-Qaida in Iraq, Sunni insurgents and even a Shiite cult have killed hundreds of people in recent years.

The attack in Baghdad's northern Shiite neighborhood of Kazimiyah comes two days after a suicide bomber slipped into a luncheon at a tribal leader's home south of Baghdad and killed at least 23 people. More than a dozen other people have died in other attacks since New Year's Day.

The Iraqi military held parades to mark the anniversary of its founding 88 years ago and to celebrate a security agreement with the United States that went into effect on Jan. 1. The agreement replaced a U.N. mandate that allowed the U.S. and other foreign troops to operate in Iraq.

Under the new agreement, U.S. troops in Iraq will no longer conduct unilateral operations and will act only in concert with Iraqi forces. The must also leave major Iraqi cities by June and withdraw all troops by the end of 2011.

In another sign of the transition in authority, the U.S. military on Sunday handed over control in Diyala Province of about 9,000 Sons of Iraq, a predominantly Sunni group of former insurgents and tribesmen whose revolt against al-Qaida in Iraq gave a significant boost to security in the turbulent province and helped turned the tide in the war against the terror group.

The United States paid the group's estimated 90,000 members countrywide about $300 a month. Eventually, the members are to be either integrated into the Iraqi military and police, or provided civilian jobs and vocational training.

Under the phased handover, which began last year in Baghdad, Iraqi authorities will continue that pay and education strategy.

Iraqi President Jalal Talabanbi told Iraqi army troops during a parade marking Army Day that "the Iraqi army has gained the trust of government and Iraqi people as the army of all Iraqis."

At a military parade that included recently purchased U.S. military equipment and armored vehicles, he told the troops that "the signing of the withdrawal of foreign troop's agreement and the end of the U.N. mandate on Iraq" on Dec. 31 that gave U.S. and other forces the legal standing to occupy Iraq.

Just as the parade took place around noon, hundreds of worshippers had gathered in Kazimiyah just a few miles to the north, home to the shrine of Imam Mousa al-Kazim, one of the holiest men in Shiite Islam.

The woman was among a group of Iranian pilgrims and she blew herself up just outside the gates of the mosque, a large building graced by four minarets. The office of Iraqi army spokesman Brig. Gen. Qassim al-Moussawi confirmed a woman wearing an explosives vest was responsible.

Iraqi army and police put the deaths at 38, although the Prime Minister's National Operations Center said it was 36. Conflicting reports on the number of dead and wounded are common in Iraq in the chaotic aftermath of attacks.

At least one report from the Health Ministry said the dead included 17 Iranian pilgrims, seven of which were women. There were also seven Iraqi women killed by the blast, which sent shrapnel hurtling across the crowded square.

"I saw many dead pilgrims on the ground after the explosion all covered in blood, some of them Iranians," one unidentified witness told Associated Press Television News.

Thousands of pilgrims from predominantly Shiite Iran visit during Ashura, celebrated on Jan. 7 this year. The evening before the explosion, thousands of men marched through the streets of Kazimiyah rhythmically beating their chests with bare hands and slashing their shoulders with iron chains, part of ceremonies leading up to the anniversary of 7th-century death of Prophet Muhammad's grandson Hussein.

He was killed in a battle on the plains of Karbala near the Euphrates River. The battle, which was part of the dispute over the religion's leadership that began after Muhammad's death, was a key event in Islam's split into the majority Sunni and minority Shiite branches.

The Iraqi police and army have deployed thousands of forces to safeguard worshippers, mostly those heading to Karbala south of Baghdad. The city is home to the golden-domed mosques of Imam Hussein and his half-brother Imam Abbas. Hundreds of thousands are expected to pour into the city Tuesday and Wednesday night for the pinnacle of the pilgrimage.

Maj. Gen. Othman Ali Farhood al-Ghanimy, the Iraqi army commander in Karbala, said last week that thousands of foreign pilgrims had arrived.

Although the suicide attack bore all the hallmarks of the Sunni terror group al-Qaida in Iraq, which has killed hundreds of people in bombings against Ashura pilgrims in recent years, other Islamic extremist groups have used the day to stage bloody attacks.

Among the bloodiest attacks during Ashura were a series of mortar attacks and bombings in Baghdad and Karbala that year 2004 which killed nearly 200 pilgrims and wounded more than 500 others.

Last week, police in the southern city of Basra arrested a leading figure in a messianic Shiite cult, known as the "Soldiers of Heaven," that has battled with Iraqi and U.S. forces during the holiday.

At least 72 people died _ mostly cult members _ in ferocious battles with police in 2008. The group has sought to invoke chaos as a means of inspiring the return of the "Hidden Imam" _ also known as the Mahdi _ a descendant of the Prophet Muhammad who disappeared as a child in the ninth century. Shiites believe he will return one day to bring justice to the world.

In 2007, more than 200 members of the "Soldiers of Heaven" cult were killed and 600 people arrested after battles near the Shiite holy city of Najaf as they sought to declare an Islamic state during Ashura. At least 11 Iraqi troops were killed along with two Americans, whose helicopter was shot down during the battle.

Ralph oswick: Ten days of me-time

I'm supposed to retire in four years' time. People say I'll bebored. Not on your nelly! I've just had 10 days off work. No officeemails, no cultural interface meetings, no dressing up as LadyMargaret et al. Just 10 whole days of doing what I want for achange. My notes on the experience follow:

Prepared three proper meals a day with recommended number ofvegetable and fruit portions, made trip to London to sort outexhibition of my drawings, took walk along cliffs to Beachy Head,spent whole day at the sales (bought new coat, buttons hanging offthe old one for months. Bought new bed, old one has been lumpy sinceI forced it up the spiral staircase in my Bradford on Avon cottage.Realised this was more than 18 years ago. Procrastination or what?).

Chucked out three bags of old receipts and useless bills: anyonewho wants to steal my identity should look in my recycle bin now!Did crossword every day, used exercise bike each morning therebycuring achy knee that has made me feel old for at least 18 months.

Remortgaged house and used balance to pay income tax in advancefor once and buy gigantic plasma telly, washed beige curtains (firsttime in 11 years) and discovered they were actually white, cleanedwindows (first time ever).

Got up earlier than on work days, cut visits to pub by 60 percent (pub is next door to work), did serious holiday planning,worked out a feasible kitchen compost regime, enrolled in the MaxWall Society (you get to go to private showings of ancient andobscure variety acts captured on film, which is a bit close to work,I suppose, but we need ideas for the Bonbon cabarets).

Went to the Victoria Art Gallery (usually never have time andresort to Googling the artist and pretending I've been to theexhibition), spent a whole morning moving microwave around kitchento obtain maximum feng shui advantage. (Great success, microwave nowseems to welcome me in rather than lurking shame-faced in thecorner).

Experimented with multi-tasking by ironing all my shirts, cookinglunch, writing this column in head and listening to Woman's Hour atsame time.

Actually, one of the negative points about having time off isthat Woman's Hour seems to be on every time I tune in to Radio 4.Serialisation of that stupid hit book about men not being able toiron (see above). Apparently the author (male, snicker snicker)purchased some spray starch and then phoned the helpline to ask whatit was for.

He'd never make it into the Natural Theatre. Spray starch is whatholds the company together and no self-respecting member would everadmit to not being able to press a shirt (even if some of them onlyiron the bits that show).

Which reminds me... back to work this week. Deadlines, decisions,dressing up, faxes, fundraising, phone calls, in-boxes, out-boxes,shoe boxes, building plans, business plans, future plans.

Ah, yes, future plans. Roll on retirement I say.